Lead Like A Queen Coaching and Consulting, LLC

Tag: leadership

  • What Creative Activities Do I Lose Myself In and How?

    What Creative Activities Do I Lose Myself In and How?

    Daily writing prompt
    What activities do you lose yourself in?
    View all responses
    Our Creativity is Beautiful Because Our Creator Made Us Like Himself.

    What is losing myself?

    Losing myself to me means that I am “in the zone”. It means I am in a meditative space where my whole focus is just on that one thing. There’s no multi-tasking when I am in the zone. And it’s kind of a place of selfishness or self-centeredness, also, which, ultimately, can be a blessing to others who benefit from my creative endeavors.

    Note: This is not a place of self-harm or of neglecting or abusing others. That’s not the type of losing myself that I’m referring to. This is not about whigging out / or blanking out while attacking others, nor about numbing out or vegging out to the point of self-neglect or the neglect of my responsibilities to others.

    Why I Now Embrace Unique Activities

    Making time for things I love is so important to me, at this stage of my life, even if it’s not things that others around me also love. It took me until I got to about 40 years old to finally give myself permission to focus in on things that I love without a seal of approval from others around me. Sometimes this is called codependency… being reliant on others to approve your activities. And I realize that I was miserable and anxious before I started doing that, and I have no plans of returning to that place of being on pins and needles worried about what others think of me and my unique interests.

    Another Note: Full disclosure, I started making these changes for myself in my late 30’s or early 40’s, but I didn’t really understand why this is important for me until my 50’s, when I began seeing a therapist that specializes in healing from complex post-traumatic stress disorder, along with co-dependency and narcissitic abuse.

    My Unique Activities

    Obviously, I am a blogger (and author), and have been blogging since before it was called blogging (year 2000)… it used to be called online journaling. I’ve also been making YouTube videos and podcasting since I first started homeschooling my kids when they were little (about 2008), and they’re now all young adults. Nowadays, I have been using these skills in other ways, including sharing a series about healthier ways for dealing with grief.

    Losing Myself In My Unique Activities

    I am an extroverted introvert, meaning that I am able to speak in public, be on camera, and talk with strangers, but I still LOVE being alone and delving into creative activities. My creative activities lately have included:

    • Creating a podcast and YouTube channel that is designed to help women leaders who have survived trauma (including caregivers) and are now striving towards their lofty goals despite the setbacks of life
    • Creating a mentorship program for my co-workers to help them improve their independent LiveOps businesses so they can have better quality work and get paid more

    Focus / Meditative Processes or Activities

    Ok so things I do that really help me get into and stay in my “creativity bag” or “stay in the zone” include:

    • Putting my iPhone (and all ios devices) into Personal Focus mode for 1 hour so that no notifications come through at all for that period of time
    • Attending co-working events with a group of trusted Women leaders who are doing the same, focusing on their own important activity/work
    • Turning off all inputs, radio, tv, podcasts, youtube, everything, and just sitting in quiet so I can listen to my own heart-spirit because that’s when/where God’s Holy Spirit speaks to me and boosts my creativity the most

    What I Mean By Meditation

    Meditation has come to mean different things to different people. For me, meditation literally means just that. Sitting and thinking (or not thinking) while breathing and just existing in a quiet space. But, it is also sometimes walking or doing another activity that is “mindless” while I am alone with my own thoughts.

    And, with the help of my therapist, now I also sometimes incorporate tapping. It’s an EMDR therapy to help with healing from post-traumatic stress. I use this when I am upset and recovering from recent hard things / traumas, such as when a family member went missing. This has been a very useful and helpful therapy for me, and it’s surprisingly simple, but what’s not simple is remembering to use it when there’s a high-pressure situation going on.

    When Do I Have Time For Meditation

    My main time for meditation is early in the morning before my youngest gets ready for school. This is my time for prayer, for reading and/or listening to Holy Scripture, and for meditation because I need to give Father God, by His Holy Spirit, time to speak back to me after I have concluded praying and laying my heart out to Him. This is the time when I know that no one and nothing will interrupt me.

    To make meditation even more effective, sometimes journaling also helps, including: a) the type of journal that is discarded after brain dumping, and b) journaling the responses that Spirit speaks back to me in answer to my prayers

    However, I’ve also started using my lunch times for meditation, which means that I spend less time on my phone scrolling, and more time just sitting in quiet. This lunch time to focus and listen to my own heart also helps on the days when I was more rushed in the morning and didn’t get my early morning time in. And sometimes I do this when work has been more stressful than normal, so that I can center myself before I get back to interacting with others.

    Making meditation time a priority has become more prominent in my life because I can see the fruit of it in my life. I am definitely calmer during crisis. I am definitely more resilient after dealing with trauma. So having time for meditiation is my choice, and I choose it more every day.

    Segmenting my time, not just daily, but also yearly, quarterly, monthly and weekly, also helps me to have more time for meditation. So, for instance, I took off from social media and from meetings during the first two months of the year to ensure that I had more time to rest, recover, and refill before pouring out my creativity for the benefit of others. I am confident that choosing to set aside these months, along with weekly times (e.g., on Sunday’s) are helping me to hear my own heart more clearly so that I am not as easily distracted by shiny objects or not as easily swayed by other people’s priorities (agendas) for me that do not align with my own priorities.

    Conclusion

    Viewing my time as the treasure that it is has really helped me to stop letting others waste my time and to make more time for my unique interests. Finding a good place and time to meditate helps open up my creativity more and brings me into a place of being refreshed and refilled. In this way, I am able to be a better leader and to serve others from a full pitcher as I pour out into their cups/pitchers. And it also helps me to remember to keep stopping for my regular refills of my pitcher by those who I trust with pouring into me, including the Holy Spirit and other people who God is using in my life.

  • This Creative Tool Is Always With Me

    This Creative Tool Is Always With Me

    Daily writing prompt
    What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?
    View all responses

    I carry my iPhone (and Apple watch) with me everywhere, even to the bathroom and shower*, because I can type/text or record my creative ideas whenever they pop into my head. This has been a crucial part of my progress as a writer, a podcaster, and an entrepreneur. There are other tools I also use, but my watch and phone are my ever-present tools that are versatile enough for me to use even if my hands are covered in grease or occupied in a sink of dishes. Sometimes I record a video journal while I am driving… my watch can turn on my camera handsfree. And sometimes I send a text to myself if I don’t have time to open my notes app. Other times, I’ll open up a blogging app or a podcasting app to start a draft that I can finish once I’m back at my computer.

    Buy A Smartphone*

    There are really a lot more ways that I can get my creative ideas down, and these are just brief examples. As a creative, getting my ideas down has become just part of my daily routine. AND… sometimes the best ideas come at the weirdest times, like when I am just regaining consciousness after a nap or a full night’s sleep, so I keep my phone next to me in bed to record these types of ideas, too. Remembering my ideas so I can develop them more later when I have time to sit down at a computer is one of the most important skills that I’ve learned for continuously improving as a solo-micro-small business owner.

    As I mentioned earlier, I am a podcaster, and if you’d like to listen, it’s over at PlantYourSeeds.show here on the WordPress platform, or you can Google or search for it on YouTube or any other podcast platform under the podcast name, “Plant Your Seeds of Transformation“. I also write over on Medium, and I’d love to have you follow me there, also at leadlikeaqueen.medium.com.

    I love that WordPress is making it easy to remember to answer these writing prompts. Thank you for reading my answer. I hope it’s helpful if you’re a creative who always has ideas popping up for you at weird times like I do.

    *Important Notes:

    —My devices (phone and watch) are waterproof, but not all of them are, so please be careful to learn the waterproof (or dustproof ) level of your devices before wearing or using them constantly as I do.

    –AFFILIATE LINK DISCLAIMER: f you use my Amazon Affiliate link to search for a smartphone on Amazon, they may compensate me for referring you, so , thank you in advance for supporting my work in this way, if you choose to do so.

  • Planting My Own Seeds of Transformation

    Planting My Own Seeds of Transformation

    Plant Your Seeds of Transformation Podcast Episode – Traumas: How to Survive and Thrive

    What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?

    I am the host of the Plant Your Seeds of Transformation podcast. On the first episode for Season 4, I shared about how I have learned to survive multiple crises and thrive despite complex ongoing traumas. I am so glad to see this writing prompt because everyone needs to be intentional about self-care and that means we need to take time to really think about it and plan, instead of just going through the motions like a robot every day.

    In the podcast (on YouTube), I shared tips to help you understand what real transformation can look like for you. This is important that you will truly be better from the inside out and not just look better.

    I am determined to understand myself better and better over time so I can be a better me inside out. My wellness has to start inside so it can manifest outside. Think of this like a seed that you can’t see in the dirt, but eventually it pops up through the soil and one day it has beautiful flowers or delicious fruit. The flowers and fruit came last! It took time and pressure and heat and water and sun to get to the pretty or delicious result.

    I hope my podcast will help you or someone you know to plant your seeds of transformation. Please subscribe, like, share and turn on notifications.

    – Coach Donna Marie, Host of Plant Your Seeds of Transformation

  • Mother’s Day Reflection: Daily Practices That Make Me A Better Solo Mom

    Mother’s Day Reflection: Daily Practices That Make Me A Better Solo Mom

    Daily writing prompt
    What’s one small improvement you can make in your life?
    View all responses

    Improving my own life as a solo mom is my own choice. I refuse to remain a victim of the unexpected twists and turns in my life. Taking daily action, even in the smallest ways, like meditating and journaling, is how I stand in my own power for my own life to be my best self and to be a better parent, with Father God’s Help.

    ~ Coach Donna Marie aka @leadlikeaqueen

    If you’re familiar with my podcast, Plant Your Seeds of Transformation (see YouTube or Apple/Spotify/Google Podcasts), you may know my personal story of becoming an unexpected solo mom. I have been married for over 20 years, but my partner has not been partnering with me as a parent due to his illness. When I realized that things were only getting worse and that I was becoming a true Solo Mom, it completely freaked me out and sent me into an emotional and mental tailspin. I was afraid that I could not take care of him and the kids all on my own. And I was right. I can’t do any of this on my own, and I need affordable help and relevant advice. So, I started plugging in more spiritually with God through prayer and Bible study, connecting with the community more via online/virtual/phone methods (because my husband was mostly homebound), and asking for and accepting practical and financial help. I am so grateful for the community that God has led me to, some of which are biological family and some of which are chosen family.

    What Helps Me Think and Be Better

    And I’m even more grateful for how Father God continues to lead and guide me internally so that I am now a better person and parent. I use meditation and journaling to help me become more self-aware, which has helped me think better and make better choices that have improved my life. The 2nd edition of my book (#smallbizbigimpact) includes an integrated journal for this reason. Because I am a trained and certified coach, I keenly understand the value of journaling as an essential practice for ongoing growth and true life changes. Journaling allows the writer to reflect on their experiences and gain insight into their decisions, behaviors, thoughts, and feelings in a safe space. Building better self-awareness helps leaders see how to motivate themselves so they can keep achieving their goals, even when they’re not around other people who sometimes motivate and encourage them.

    What you and I both need to be better is already inside of us, and we deserve to give ourselves the time and space to discover and become more aware of it.

    ~ Coach Donna Marie @leadlikeaqueen
    Small Biz Big Impact But How 2nd Edition with Journal

    What about you?

    Do you journal, meditate, pray or something else? How do you use daily practices that help improve your life?

    Gift For Becoming A Better You

    Happy Mother’s Day to all moms, biological or not, and even if you only have fur-babies. Here is a gift for you to access the HeadSpace app. I believe it’s one of the best tools you can use to become more self-aware and become a better version of yourself. It can really complement your journaling practice, also, by reminding you to make room for and set aside time for meditation and for journaling. Use the button linked below to grab your gift now of one free month use of the Headspace app*. Honestly, I was skeptical that it would help me, but after trying it, I realized this is exactly what I needed to help me become more mindful on a daily basis.

    Get Free Month of HeadSpace*
    *Affiliate Disclaimer: I recommend this resource because I use it myself, but you need to do your own research to see if this works for you. If you choose to click my link, I may be compensated by this affiliate partner at no cost to you. Thank you in advance if you choose to support my work as a coach and mentor in this way.