If you look in the menu bar area of this blog website (or click here) you can grab a free copy of my business tips document. It was created to help support new independent LiveOps agents who have been coming on board to work as part of the team I am on. I wrote this because I am a successful remote worker who has been mentoring other remote workers to help them become successful, also.
If you choose to share the business tips document, please remember to share the whole document so I can receive proper attribution for my work. (This document contains a Creative Commons share-alike license.)
NEW JOURNAL NOW IN ONLINE STORE! You can also now purchase the Transformation Journal for Remote Workers, which contains more than just tips, it gives you guidance for goal setting and planning your independent remote worker business.
~ Coach Donna Marie
I am still enjoying my work as an independent LiveOps agent, and it still comes with its challenges, like every other part of life. One of the most recent challenges was that I had some health challenges I was recovering from, and this interrupted my work schedule. I made the mistake of not tracking my time properly… but not anymore. I developed a tracker to help me do better.
While recovering my health, the main challenge I had was being able to sit for more than an hour. So, I had to stagger my shifts more so that I could take more frequent breaks. This was devastating for my ability to keep track of my hours in my head like I used to do. I had to pivot to using my own tracking system so that I could compare my records to the client’s records to ensure none of my very scattered disorganized shifts were missed.
Now that I am feeling better, I am using the tracking system to help me ramp up my work more so that I can achieve higher goals. So, the tracking started as a necessity to prevent a crisis, and now I have been able to pivot it as a planner to help me be more proactive with goal setting. If you’d like a copy of the tracking template, let me know so that I can make that available through my online store, also.
Would you like more content about remote work? I also have provided some of my insights about remote work on my medium blog which is at LeadLikeAQueen.Medium.com
Our Creativity is Beautiful Because Our Creator Made Us Like Himself.
What is losing myself?
Losing myself to me means that I am “in the zone”. It means I am in a meditative space where my whole focus is just on that one thing. There’s no multi-tasking when I am in the zone. And it’s kind of a place of selfishness or self-centeredness, also, which, ultimately, can be a blessing to others who benefit from my creative endeavors.
Note: This is not a place of self-harm or of neglecting or abusing others. That’s not the type of losing myself that I’m referring to. This is not about whigging out / or blanking out while attacking others, nor about numbing out or vegging out to the point of self-neglect or the neglect of my responsibilities to others.
Why I Now Embrace Unique Activities
Making time for things I love is so important to me, at this stage of my life, even if it’s not things that others around me also love. It took me until I got to about 40 years old to finally give myself permission to focus in on things that I love without a seal of approval from others around me. Sometimes this is called codependency… being reliant on others to approve your activities. And I realize that I was miserable and anxious before I started doing that, and I have no plans of returning to that place of being on pins and needles worried about what others think of me and my unique interests.
Another Note: Full disclosure, I started making these changes for myself in my late 30’s or early 40’s, but I didn’t really understand why this is important for me until my 50’s, when I began seeing a therapist that specializes in healing from complex post-traumatic stress disorder, along with co-dependency and narcissitic abuse.
My Unique Activities
Obviously, I am a blogger (and author), and have been blogging since before it was called blogging (year 2000)… it used to be called online journaling. I’ve also been making YouTube videos and podcasting since I first started homeschooling my kids when they were little (about 2008), and they’re now all young adults. Nowadays, I have been using these skills in other ways, including sharing a series about healthier ways for dealing with grief.
Losing Myself In My Unique Activities
I am an extroverted introvert, meaning that I am able to speak in public, be on camera, and talk with strangers, but I still LOVE being alone and delving into creative activities. My creative activities lately have included:
Creating a podcast and YouTube channel that is designed to help women leaders who have survived trauma (including caregivers) and are now striving towards their lofty goals despite the setbacks of life
Creating a mentorship program for my co-workers to help them improve their independent LiveOps businesses so they can have better quality work and get paid more
Focus / Meditative Processes or Activities
Ok so things I do that really help me get into and stay in my “creativity bag” or “stay in the zone” include:
Putting my iPhone (and all ios devices) into Personal Focus mode for 1 hour so that no notifications come through at all for that period of time
Attending co-working events with a group of trusted Women leaders who are doing the same, focusing on their own important activity/work
Turning off all inputs, radio, tv, podcasts, youtube, everything, and just sitting in quiet so I can listen to my own heart-spirit because that’s when/where God’s Holy Spirit speaks to me and boosts my creativity the most
What I Mean By Meditation
Meditation has come to mean different things to different people. For me, meditation literally means just that. Sitting and thinking (or not thinking) while breathing and just existing in a quiet space. But, it is also sometimes walking or doing another activity that is “mindless” while I am alone with my own thoughts.
And, with the help of my therapist, now I also sometimes incorporate tapping. It’s an EMDR therapy to help with healing from post-traumatic stress. I use this when I am upset and recovering from recent hard things / traumas, such as when a family member went missing. This has been a very useful and helpful therapy for me, and it’s surprisingly simple, but what’s not simple is remembering to use it when there’s a high-pressure situation going on.
When Do I Have Time For Meditation
My main time for meditation is early in the morning before my youngest gets ready for school. This is my time for prayer, for reading and/or listening to Holy Scripture, and for meditation because I need to give Father God, by His Holy Spirit, time to speak back to me after I have concluded praying and laying my heart out to Him. This is the time when I know that no one and nothing will interrupt me.
To make meditation even more effective, sometimes journaling also helps, including: a) the type of journal that is discarded after brain dumping, and b) journaling the responses that Spirit speaks back to me in answer to my prayers
However, I’ve also started using my lunch times for meditation, which means that I spend less time on my phone scrolling, and more time just sitting in quiet. This lunch time to focus and listen to my own heart also helps on the days when I was more rushed in the morning and didn’t get my early morning time in. And sometimes I do this when work has been more stressful than normal, so that I can center myself before I get back to interacting with others.
Making meditation time a priority has become more prominent in my life because I can see the fruit of it in my life. I am definitely calmer during crisis. I am definitely more resilient after dealing with trauma. So having time for meditiation is my choice, and I choose it more every day.
Segmenting my time, not just daily, but also yearly, quarterly, monthly and weekly, also helps me to have more time for meditation. So, for instance, I took off from social media and from meetings during the first two months of the year to ensure that I had more time to rest, recover, and refill before pouring out my creativity for the benefit of others. I am confident that choosing to set aside these months, along with weekly times (e.g., on Sunday’s) are helping me to hear my own heart more clearly so that I am not as easily distracted by shiny objects or not as easily swayed by other people’s priorities (agendas) for me that do not align with my own priorities.
Conclusion
Viewing my time as the treasure that it is has really helped me to stop letting others waste my time and to make more time for my unique interests. Finding a good place and time to meditate helps open up my creativity more and brings me into a place of being refreshed and refilled. In this way, I am able to be a better leader and to serve others from a full pitcher as I pour out into their cups/pitchers. And it also helps me to remember to keep stopping for my regular refills of my pitcher by those who I trust with pouring into me, including the Holy Spirit and other people who God is using in my life.
How can a VA or a remote worker be perfect in their career, business, or life? Well in one sense, that is impossible, and in another sense it is possible, but there are some things you need to understand first.
First… know that it is not possible to be completely and totally perfect all at one moment in time all by yourself. This is an unrealistic expectation that many of us (yes I include myself) place on ourselves (and on others), and this is toxic. It is impossible to be totally perfect at one moment in time, especially given other factors such as being new to the endeavor or having extenuating circumstances, like being sick or being isolated without support.
However, you can become better over time. That is the goal: a VA or a remote worker can become better over time, and within a supportive community, your work can begin to look like a well-oiled nearly perfect “machine”.
Once you are aware of this, you can take care of yourself better and advocate for yourself with anyone else who is placing this unrealistic, toxic expectation on you. Unfortunately, for VA’s and other remote workers, this is very common, and many of them are isolated and without a supportive community to help them address issues with employers or clients. So, they leave their remote careers demoralized and traumatized. Many times they do not even know that being treated this way is abusive because they may have been conditioned to accept this behavior by their pre-existing culture in their community, family, or in a prior work culture.
What Are Some Personal Stories of Perfectionism?
If you have listened to some of the episodes of my podcast (Plant Your Seeds of Transformation podcast show), you would have heard me and my guests share our own stories on this topic. One of my guests, Nia Ridgle, discussed how toxic perfectionism impacted her life saying, “We are leading other people, but we don’t even know how to take care of ourselves behind close doors.”
How Can You Get Help With Perfectionism?
This is where a coach can help fill the gap of support that a VA or remote worker may need. If you would like my support, you can ask me for a free discovery call by registering at this link:
Also, this is where becoming part of a supportive community can also help fill the gap of support you need. If you’re a high achieving black woman leader looking to expand your community, learn more about mine and how you can connect with us every Thursday in the previous article I wrote called, “It’s Back! Thursday Co-working“. We start on 9/1/22, but you can join us any time during this 12 weeks of co-working.
After you join our community, you can access this journal as a tool to help you during your 12-week co-working journey. Click here to learn more.
Is your VA business (or remote working career) more like a forest or a garden? Take the poll below and share.
In my latest podcast for the “Plant Your Seeds of Transformation” show, I talked about the topic of intentionality and how that is connected to having a small business that makes a big impact in the world. I hope you will listen (or watch) and leave me feedback to let me know what “aha moments” you had while you listened.
Listen on Spotify or Your Favorite Player
The Plant Your Seeds of Transformation Podcast Show via Spotify includes Relevant Music Excerpts
During this podcast, I discussed intentionality from a spiritual perspective and from a practical perspective.
What is your understanding of what it means to be more intentional in your life and in your business?
One example I used was related to how mothers hope and dream for their children. How do you allow your parenting to inform how you handle your business as a VA or your career as a remote worker?
Group or Individualized Coaching for You
What are you doing to be more intentional about your VA business or remote worker career? How could having a coach who really understands your world impact how you keep moving forward in your business/career?
If you would like for me to coach you and support you one-on-one (or in a group) as you continue to grow your VA business (or your remote work career), you can use the contact form at the bottom of this article to request a complimentary get acquainted session where we can get to know one another better and see if we would be a good fit for each other. Even if we are not a good fit, I have a trusted network of coaches that I can refer you to.*
“Small Business Is A Misnomer” #SmallBizBigImpact (TM) – Coffee Mug Available as a Perk for Patrons
Questions, Comments, or Feedback
Use the contact form below to share any questions, comments, or feedback for Donna so that she can reply to you.
*Affiliate Referral Link: The affiliate links shared on this website are for reputable resources that I have used and that I trust. Evenso, you should do your own due diligence to ensure this resource is a good fit for your needs. If you decide to click the link, they will know that I referred you and may provide me with compensation to thank me for sending you over. Thank you in advance for supporting me by using my referrals.
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Lead Like A Queen Coaching and Consulting, LLC 